This was initiated by a reading from Charlie Brooker's Dawn of the Dumb; randomly text someone you know this message: Wahey, I'm in a HELICOPTER! Hilarious! Anyway Batty took it a step further and the dialogue runs like milk & honeyz:
Batty: Wooo I'm in
Me: Waaaa I'm indoors. Roly's mum's doors*
Batty: Ow my god just wrestled an aligator! Wow!
Batty # 2: Just found out I've been diagnosed with back cancer. They cut it open and found a diamond bigger than a peach!
Batty wins everytime.
Then a little later w/r/t his and Charlie's night out:
Batty: YES MAN! Were (sic) going to clean up man. Peoples be like 'wooooh these brothers be like straight out de jungle' womans be like 'who are those two?' i'm like 'yes babe i'm like the king of sting, the bruin of ruin, the mash in your potatoe, the knight of all knights at night time! I'm the rime in your crime doin overtime! Be leave babe'
Me: Classic: the chicks drop jaws like bible laws 'woah! who are those two crude dudes?' and we're like "peter piper, the midnight viper, come to clean up your dreams, drop a no brainer with brains, make your night out of ribbons and gold, hold you in bed so ya don't get old - we're miracles in male form and speak in rhyme like goats. Big willy = big happy. Moves like weird
*A story too long to go into here.